Santa giving exam
Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself. Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!
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Santa giving exam while standing at the door. A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?" Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."
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Shame on you God Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple". (After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note) Santa: "Shame on you God, you don"t even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal. Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.
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Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.
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Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
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Baccho Wada karo
Baccho Wada karo
TEACHER: baccho Wada karo kabhi cigaratte, sharaab nahi piyo GE..BACHE: nahi piyain GE
TEACHER: gals ka peecha nahi karoge, na hi unhain chedo GE..BACHE: nahi karain GE
TEACHER: or desh pe apni jaan qurbaan ker do gey..BACHE: ker dain GE. Aisi zindagi ka or kerna b kya.
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Train mai ek husband apni wife say: "tujh say shadi kar k pachta raha hoon."
"dil karta hai tujhe kutttay k aagay daal doon"
Samnay wala passenger bola: "bhao bhao"
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Wife : mere iraday baray neek hain, aap 1000 mai ek hain.
Sardar : mera dimag bara taiz hai, pehlay ye Bata baki 999 kon hai?
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Sardar looked himself in mirror and said:Is ko kahain dekha hai. Then he said:
Oye yaad aya, ye to who he kamina hai JoShaadi ki album main meri biwi k saath hai :p
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Janch seva samithi
Janch seva samithi
A population survey being taken in a modern times by telephone in the state of Sri Balu Prasad Jadavji.
"NAMASKAR, yeh male/female janch seva samithi hai. Agar app purush hai to phone pe 2 no. Ka button dabaiye, aur agar app female hai to phone par 6 no. Ka button dabaiye, agar inmae se kuch bhi nahe to kuch bhi na dabaiye hum samaj jayen GE."
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Kitni hasin ho tumKhudko dusroki nazrose bachaya karo
Sirf kaajal lagana kafi nahinGaleme nimbu mirchi bhi latkaya karo
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Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.
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Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! Aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.
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Best seller book
Best seller book
What makes a book bestseller?
A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .. Smile
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Today's offer -
Dial 100 and say "Bomb in Parliament", Get a Trip to Central Jail, Food, Clothing, Housing FREE for 14 Years!
Offer Valid till 2 Days.
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U R 100% beautiful,U R 100% lovely,
U R 100% sweet,U R 100% nice, and
U R 100% stupid to believe these words...
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Nobody is like u,Nobody cares 4 u,
Nobody misses u,Nobody wants to see u good,
Nobody is ur best fr,Nobody is happy with u....
Don't cry.......my name is nobody
Height of Kanjoosi
Height of Kanjoosi
Height of Kanjoosi: Bania's house in fire,
He is gvng miss calls 2 Fire brigade
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What makes a book bestseller?
A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .. Smile
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What happens when a lion roars thrice?-----Think-----Any guess?-----Ok, I will tell you..-----Tom & Jerry cartoon begins!
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Only special people receives loveOnly special minds receives wisdom
Only special hands receives giftsAnd only special persons receive MY MESSAGES
Mallika sherawat
Mallika sherawat
Malika sherawat goes to skin doctor and ask, "Main nahatay waqat kya lagaoun?"
Doctor: "bathroom ki kundi."
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Chaewala ladki dekh kar bola: bholi is soorat, ankhaon mein masti, dur khadi sharmaye, aae haaye,
Ladki boli: kali is surat, haath me ketli, dur khara chilaye, chae chae.
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Boy says 2 girl: tute hue dil se pyar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl says: tuti hui chapal se pite Ga ya chappal tutne tak pitega.
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Chemistry ki class main teacher NE ek larki se pucha what is "Nitrate"?
Larki Sharma kar boli: "sir, night rate 1500/-, aur hotel charges alag honge."
Best New Funy Sms(2008)
Best New Funy Sms(2008)
Wife - ek baat boloon? par maarna nahi..Hsbnd-boloWife - i m pregnantHsbnd- its gud news, darkyon rahi thi?Wife- shadi ke pahle papa ko batayatha,bari maar pari thi..
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Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling onthe wall whenall of a sudden, Phulwa started to singa song. The moment Phulwastopped singing the song,RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChurifelldown from the wall !!!... WHY ???
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coz, they allstarted clapping !!!!
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Q -
In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, andthe water level ofthe pond increases. How?
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A- The other 9 fish are crying
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PUPIL, :Would You Punish Me For Some Things I Didn;tDo?TEACHER: Of Cource Not,,PUPIL:Good,Becauce IHaven,t Done My Homework.
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AISI KON SI CHEEZ HAI JO WOMAN MAIN AAGE HOTI HAI AURCOW MAIN PEECHE HITIHAI?????????????????WOMAN=WCOW=W
HARWAQT GALAT MAT SOCHA KARO
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Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda cOhmneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda cNapaper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c.
Love Sms(2008)
Love Sms(2008)
Jo pyar k rishte hum bnate hainUsey logon se kiunchupate hainAger hota hay kisi ko pyar karnaTobachpan se sab pyar karna kiun sikhate hain
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Chalo tum hi mohabat ki ibtida kardoNafraton k issdor main mojza kardoMujh ko lota do ik baar mera dilYa khud ko meri sanso se juda kardo
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Bebasi badh key meri aankhon main utar aati haimerihasi sey merey aansu chupaye nahi jatey
Wafaa kiraahon main bujhney ke baad ye jaana haisar-e-hawadiye mohabbat ke sajaye nahi jatey
Teri tehreeronsey aati hai terey haathon ki mehakbe\'wafaa mujhsey terey khat jalaye nahijatey
{Tehreer:-writing}
Dard ki chaadrain merighazlon ko dhaanp leti hainmujh sey shairon mainnaye rang dikhaye nahi jatey
Aye merey Khudataqdeer ko itna to batayaa hotadukhon ke pahaadinsaanon pe giraye nahi jaatey
2~(*)~Usko tujheybhulaaye zamaane guzar gaye~(*)~
Un se nazar milaayezamaane guzar gayedil ko qaraar paaye zamaane guzargaye
HoNThoN pe tabbassum* to sajaayi haibaar\'haa*aaNkhoN se muskuraaye zamaane guzargaye
{ tabbassum = smile, baar\'haa = aksar,often}
Aati bhi neeNd cha\'in ki to kis tarahaatiza\'nooN* pe sar Tikaaye zamaane guzar gaye
{za\'nooN = Thighs }
Aa jaa ke muddatoN se iNtezaarhai tiraataazaa fareb khaaye zamaane guzargaye
Jee rahe haiN tujhse bichaR ke bhi hummagarjeeney ka lutf aaye zamaane guzar gaye
Humpar bhi meherbaan thiiN masarrateN* lekinguzar gayevoh haaye zamaane,guzar gaye
{ masarrateN =khushiyaaN }
Tu yaad jisko subh-o-shaam kareyhaiusko tujhey bhulaaye zamaane guzar gaye
Emotional Sms
Emotional Sms
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Mujay mohabaton se kuch mila nahi mujay tum se bhi kohigila nahi, Meri zindagi to bas eik uljhan si hai jisaykabhi kisi ne suljaya nahi, Meri zat se kisi ko kohitaklef ho main ne to kabhi be yeh chaha nahi, Har eikne mujh hi ko dard dya mere dard ko to kisi ne dekha hinahi, Kyon main rishton ko ilzam don mera hamsafar hisaath chala nahi, Mein us ko bewafa sa lagta hoon jisaykhud ko wafa ka pata nahi.
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Saathi sirf woh nahi hota jo jeevan bhar saathnibhaye;Saathi to woh bhi hai jo jivan ke kuch palonmein bhijeevan bhar ka saath de jaaye
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rothna mat hamain manana nahi aata dur mat jana hamaibulana nahi aata tum bhulado hamain tumary marzi parhum kia karian hamaim to bhulana bi nahi aata
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Kuch main bhi thak gya hoon usay dhondadtydhondty...Kuch zindagi kay pass bhi muhlat nahinrahi...Us ki ek ek ada say jhalakny laga pyar...Jubmujhay aitbar ki adat nahin rah
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Kehta ha Zamanay Sa Chupa lOun Tuj kO ....Dil KiDharkan Ki Tarah Dil Mai Basa Loun Tujh ko ......KOiEhsas Judai Ka Na Rahnay Pae Is Tarah .....Khud MainMerii Jan Sama LOun TUj kO .......Tu jO RoThay Kabi MUjSe Meray Dil Ki Darkhan.....Sari Duniya Sa Khafa hOoKar MaNa Loun Tuj kO ....!
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Zakham Aisa Diya Ke Koi Dwa Kaam Na Aayi Aag AisilagaiKe Paani Se Bi Bhuj Naa Paayi Aaj Bhi Rote Hai Hum UnkiYaad Mein Jinhe Hamari Yaad Aaj Tak Naa Aay
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Ek khusboo si teri yaad aayee, Ek pal muskara liyamaine ! Pyas tadpi to pee liya aansoo, Bhukh me gam kokha liya maine ! Dard ka geet ek tadapta sa, Pyar megunguna liya maine ! Mujhpe ilzam hai zamane ka, Kyontera dil chura liya maine, Jab kabhi need mujhse roothgayee, Chand ko ghar bula loiya maine ! Kis tarahkhusnaseeb hun mai bhi, Tumko khwabon me paa liya maine!!
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Mere qareb to aao bahot udas hun main,Bas aaj toot kchao bahot udas hun main,Kisi b jhutey delasy se mryDIL ko behlao,Koi kahani sunao bahot udas hunmain,Andhri rat ha kuch b nazr nai ata,Satre tor klao boht udas hun ma,Suna hai pream nagar me khushi bmilti hai,Muje yaqeen dilao bahot udas hun mainYeZINDAGI yunhi guzar jae gi dabe pauonWaffa ka geetgao bahot udas hun main.
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Roonay Walay Tujhe Roonay Ka Saliqaa bhee NahinAshqPeenay Kay liye Hain ya Bahanay Kay liyeKitnayParwane Jalay Raaz Yah Panay kay liyeShamaa Jalnaykay liye hai Ya Jalanay kay liyeAaj Kah DoongaShab-e-Gham ki Shararat Un sayRooz Aajatay hainKam-bakhat Satanay kay liyeMujh ko Maloom tha Aaeingay Meray Ghar lakinKhud Chala Aaya hoon Yaad Dilanaykay liye
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Friendship SMS
Friendship SMS
WO darakht jin par parindon kay ghar nahi hote darazjitnay bhi ho mutabbar nahi hote, Mere doston kiphechan hai itni kay un kay dilon mein nafraton kayghar nahi hote.
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I always thought loving someone is the greatestfeeling, but I realized that loving a friend is evenbetter. We lose people we love, but we never lose truefriends.
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Whenever you watn to knw how rich you are,dont countyour coins....Drop a tear & count how many handsreachoutto wipe it....
Thats trueRichness!!!!!Smile
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"Its not necessary to share everythingbetween truefriends.....But its necessary that what u share mustbe true....
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Thank you for touching my life in ways you may neverknow. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but inhaving friend like you - a precious gift from God.
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Stars has 5 endsSquare has 4 endsTrinagle has 3endsLine has 2 endsbut Circle of our friendshiphas no end...
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Saathi sirf woh nahi hota jo jeevan bhar saath nibhaye;Saathi to woh bhi hai jo jivan ke kuch palon mein bhijeevan bhar ka saath de jaaye
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Akhan di benuri changi nahin hundi,Dostan ton durichangi nahin hundi,Kade kade milya vi kar yaara,Har vele SMS naal gal puri nahin hundi
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Saathi sirf woh nahi hota jo jeevan bhar saath nibhaye;Saathi to woh bhi hai jo jivan ke kuch palon mein bhijeevan bhar ka saath de jaaye
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Bin tery shehr ka shehr wiran rehta hai.Bichar k tujhse hr rasta sunsan rehta hai.Wo tujhe tujh se ziadapyar karta hai.Jo tery samny aksar anjan rehta hai.
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If A=1,B=2,C=b....Z=26,Then,L+O+V+E is equal to54.But,F+R+I+E+N+D+S+H+I+P is equal to 108.It provesthatFRIENDSHIP IS TWICE STRONGER THAN LOVE.
Nice English Sms
Nice English Sms
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Friends R Like Street Lights Along The RoadThey Don’t Make The Distance Any ShorterBut They Light Up The Path&Make The Walk Worthwhile
Sweet Fruits Nice 2 Eat
Sweet Fruits Nice 2 EatSweet Words Easy 2 SayButSweet Friend Hard 2 FindAndIt’s
My Goodness How Did I Find U
1 Advice: Take Care
1 Advice: Take Care1 Request: Dont Change1 Wish: Dont Forget Me1 Lie: I Hate U1 Truth: I Miss U1 Hope: We Will Always B Good Friends!
Between A 100000 Yesterdays
Between A 100000 Yesterdays &A 100000 TomorrowsThere Is Only One Today& I Would Not Let This PassWithout Saying Thx 4 Being Such A Lovely Frnd…
That is not my dog
Man1 sitting with dog.Man2:Your dog bits?Man1:NoMan 2 sits and the dog bits!Man2 angrily, you said he does not bit!Man:That is not my dog.
What is BUSINESS
What is BUSINESS ?
Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.Son: NoDad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.Son: then Ok.
Dad goes o Bill Gates.Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.Bill Gates: NoDad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.President:NoDad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.President: Then OK
That’s business…!!
What the heart gives away is never gone
What the heart gives away is never gone,but kept in the hearts of others,from dusk to dawn.Love you from the core of my heart.Wanna Be your Valentine 4ever
Love is possible after friendship
Love is possible after friendshipbutfriendship is not possible after lovebecausemedicines work before deathlater nothing can be cured
How Can I Forget
…-”"-. ..( ‘.’ ) Waiting =(,,)=(,,)= For My ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Sms ??? Don’t Worry.. How Can I Forget U To Say…. “Good Morning!” …
Gud Morning
TIME Alone Can Prove The Worth Of Frienship.. As Time Goes By… V Loose The False Ones N Keep The Best…… Just A Sweet Hello 2 One Of The Best…. Gud Morning !!!!! …
Poetry Love Sms Messages.
Poetry Love Sms Messages.
MAIN HON SIRF AAP KI
1 bat bataon RAAZ ki,karo us larki se “AASHQI”,Jis k chehre pe ho “SAADGI”,Sanso mai ho “TAAZGI”,Chandni ho “CHAND ki,Rani ho “RAAT” ki,Khushbo ho “GULAB” ki,Batein kare “PYAR” ki,Nazuk ho “MIZAJ” ki,Achi ho “IKHLAQ” ki,Pabund ho “NAMAZ” ki,Khidmat kare “MAA,BAAP” ki,Or hamesha kahe“MAIN HON SIRF AAP KI”
zindagi kitni khubsoorut hai
Zindagi me her dum hastey raho,Hasna zindagi ki zarorut hai,
Zindagi ko is andaz mei jiyo k,Aap ko dekh ker log kahen “wo dekho”zindagi kitni khubsoorut hai
Aisa kabhi na karna
Tum roth jao mujhse, Aisa kabhi na kerna,Main ik nazar ko tarsoon, Aisa kabhi na kerna,
Main poch poch haron, so so sawal kar k,Tum kuch jawab na do, Aisa kabhi na kerna,
Main kisi roz tum ko sada dun,Aur tum na aao, aisa kabhi na karna,
Tum chaley jao jab bhi to dekhon tumhara rasta,Tum loat k na aao, Aisa kabhi na karna….!!
hum pal pal kion marte hain
Aye moj-e-hawa,Ab tu hi bata,Wo yar hamara kaisa hai?
Jo bhool gaya hum ko kab se,Wo jaan se pyara kaisa hai ?
Kia us ko jeewan lamho mein,Koi lamha mera baqi hai ?
Kia uski jaagti aankhon main,Meri yaad se phaili udasi hai ?
Kia wo bhi meri tarah yun hi,Shab bhar jaga kerta hai ?
Kia wo bhi saya-e-rehmat main,Hamain RAB se manga karta hai ?
Agar aisa nahi to tu hi bata,Hum yaad use Kion kertay hain ?
Wo humse bicher ker khush hai agar,To hum pal pal kion marte hain ?
Sweet SMS
Sweet SMS
Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar kius ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.
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Saath rehte rehte yuhin waqt guzar jayegaDoor hone ke baad kaun kise yaad aayegaJee lo ye pal jab hum sath haikal ka kya pata, waqt kahan le jayega
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Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,Doston ke liye haazir hai jaan hamaari,Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai to kya,Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !
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joke
Restuarent k malik aik sardar ji se aik gori maim boli''Sardar G chatni he''?sardar ji boly,"kam te ganda he par chat lan ge''.
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Few moments spent with someone
Life spent with someonefor a lifetime may be meaningless,
But a few moments spentwith someone who really loves U,
Means more than a life itself!
Smile is a Cooling System of Heart...
Smile is a Cooling System of Heart...
Smile is a Cooling system of heart,
Sparkling system of eyes,
Lighting system of face,
Relaxing system of mind,
So activate all your systems and keep smiling!
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Think Of The Day!
Death is not the greatest loss in Life,
The Greatest loss is when relationship dies inside us
While we Are alive.
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